It's a Sea World

We took the kids to SeaWorld this past week. Boy was that expensive afternoon. Hard to believe that so many people find it worth $65/adult and $53/child. With tickets, parking two vehicles @ $10 each, and $30 for a decent quality lunch, and I spent $360 for what amounted to a four-hour visit. The tickets do allow us to come back all year, which we’ll have to do to get the best value from our investment. It’s only 90 minutes from home, so it would be an easy daytrip.

We had a schedule to keep, and never try to do an entire park at once, so we only stayed for four hours. We saw the killer whales, the penguins, walked through the shark tank, and the boys and I rode the kiddie roller coaster. Aaron is a budding roller coaster enthusiast. I sense this will be a problem for me when he’s another 10 inches taller and wants to ride the big ones. I never graduated from the kiddie coasters myself.

Speaking of water and primal fear, I opened my paper this morning and was greeted by the photo of a 9-foot bull shark that was pulled out of Tampa Bay this week. A couple of guys caught it from their waterfront backyard. Granted, they were fishing for sharks, but their success is a bit disturbing. An 8-footer was pulled out nearby early last month.

Both of these locations are about 2 nautical miles north of where my boat is berthed, and well within what I consider my sailing “yard”. When I’m out on the boat and the weather is hot, I often think about going for a dip. I think this will permanently deter me.

I know sharks are everywhere. But I like to think they are the docile ones that are more afraid of me than I am of them. These bull sharks are in a different category. Aggressive, known man-eaters, bull sharks are implicated in most attacks in Florida, usually in very shallow water along the beaches.

I can rationalize that shark attacks are rare, and that most of them have no interest in humans. I’ll let my kids swim in murky water with a cut on their leg, but I have a difficult time controlling my fear when it’s my ass in the water.

Part of the problem may be that I saw Jaws at an early age. I recall feeling panicked in the swimming pool after that, afraid that he was going to come up out of the drain or something. Children are very impressionable, and many of the images we commonly see on television these days can be damaging to their little psyches. I will do all I can to prevent them from ever seeing Jaws.

In retrospect, letting my kids swim on that occasion probably wasn’t the best idea. My comfort at the time was influenced by a couple factors. First, I was with my father, which tends to engender a sense of safety (although being a father myself, I know this to be an illusion). Second, there were dolphins swimming nearby and everybody knows that dolphin and sharks intensely dislike each other and are never in the same place at the same time. I hope that’s true. Lastly, I had recently seen a bull shark documentary where the host was standing in the water with a shark expert and a dozen or so bulls swimming around their legs. As the expert later explained, they stood still too long and were too occupied by the interview to notice that one of the sharks was getting interested until it took a bite out of the expert’s leg. With the cameras rolling, the water instantly turned red with blood as the man was dragged around by the shark. Meanwhile, the other sharks (remember, these are bull sharks) didn’t respond at all. Despite the blood, there was no frenzy, and the show host was not bitten (though I bet he needed new wetsuit). The expert lost a good part of his calf and nearly died from blood loss. He said the other sharks did not attack because their fine predatory senses are tuned to fish blood and they don’t have any instinctive response to human blood.

I wouldn’t say that I have a fear of sharks, per se. I think my problem is more the fear of the unknown. In salt water, the “unknown” is whether there is a large shark right next to me. But I don’t like swimming in lakes either. I find deep, dark, still waters creepy. Who knows what is down there?

Maybe I’m just a pansy, but I think I’d give up surfing after this.

Lemme Summup

Ha! You thought I was going to go a whole year without posting, didn’t you? Well you were wrong, and this proves it. I almost feel bad for breaking my streak. Why haven’t I written? None of your business. I’m not doing this for you and I don’t owe you anything. I’m not even sure who you are. And I really don’t know why I’m doing it (hence the carefully selected name of this blog).

The writing habit? Maybe. Sharing with friends and family? Not really. Amassing a cult following of daily readers? No way. I don’t really have the time or motivation to devote to regular posts. It occurs to me to blog about something about once a month. Figure I actually do about 5% of the things that occur to me and before you know it it’s been almost a year. Plus I’ve got issues with privacy, who my audience is, what is my “purpose”, and is such-and-such a topic consistent and appropriate. Oh, and I’m a slow writer and did I mention that I don’t have much time?

I do it because I like to read my own posts. It’s all about me. I like the way I write. I’m interested in the topics that I write about. And I’m not very good about cataloging life. It passes. Things change. I tend to think life is perfect at the stage it is now, but in fact it was perfect at earlier stages that I’ve forgotten about. Looking at year-old posts reminds me of those times, and damn, did my yard really look that good last year?

Recently, I’ve been toying with the idea of firing up a work-related blog. Naturally, this has renewed some of the same questions I’ve had about this one. Consistency, audience, etc. And as a result, I think I’ve probably been motivated to put some new entries up here. There are lots of things I could have written about in the last year. Unfortunately, my journalistic standards don’t allow me to backdate posts, so we’ll just have to hope that mildly interesting (yet not terribly personal) events continue to occur.

So in the immortal words of Inigo Montoya, “lemme summup”. In the last year I might have blogged about the following:

• My wife and I have conceived, gestated, delivered, and intentionally exposed to chicken pox another child. A boy. He’s still in the cute phase, but they say testosterone causes a type of brain damage in utero and I sure believe it.
• Pool Day came on the exact same weekend as it did last year, utterly refuting this global warming business. It occurred to me that I should contribute empirical data from my pool thermometer as a bellwether index of global climate change. 95% chance I won’t do that.
• Aaron learned to ride his big kid bike without training wheels after a three-day marathon of crashes and injuries. As his parent, I find the determination he displayed to be both exhilarating and frightening.
• After waiting 9 months for the power company to trim it back off the lines, the back yard oak was finally removed. Hallelujah.
• I paid more in taxes than my salary 10 years ago.
• Somewhat related to taxes, I finally let go of the car I bought when I was 19 and bought a company truck. Yeah, it’s got a HEMI.
• I went to Atlanta for GT’s homecoming with my brother and my dad. I stayed at the Ritz. On the previous occasion that I stayed in that hotel, I made myself sick on Heineken and chicken wings at the Hard Rock Cafe. Yeah, it was classy.
• Our diet has changed completely. All organic, nothing we can’t pronounce. I’m developing a phobia about eating on the road. My wife is talking fondly of her friends that have goats and chickens.
• I was affected by the death of the Steve Irwin. I hope I die doing something I love. Well, and something respectably dangerous and manly. I don’t want to die on the toilet.
• My parents are buying property in Panama.
• Eli is interested (and proficient) in ice skating. I’m monitoring the situation carefully.
• The first year of homeschooling was a success.
• I got reprimanded by the Coast Guard for sailing my little boat in one of their security zones. There were very nice, but it still hurt. I came up aces on their inspection though, so I got some points back there.
• We almost bought a 55-foot schooner, but somebody else bought it first. That guy must be crazy.

I think that’s it.

Dirty Jobs

Our vacation spot had a TV and the boys and I spent a little time watching it on the Fourth. It was surprisingly rewarding. We found a Dirty Jobs marathon on The Discovery Channel, some motorcycle racing and a monster truck competition on the Speed Network, and of course the shuttle launch on CNN. I’m not sure I could have planned it better myself. It almost made me want to get one.

Of course, watching a couple hours of Dirty Jobs was bound to have some repercussions.

Pool Day 2006

First official day in the pool came much later this year. Looking at my post from last year, I see that I declared the 2005 swimming season open almost six weeks earlier. Maybe the novelty has worn off. Maybe we're preoccupied with the boat. Maybe it's that pesky global warming. It was 78 degrees and I used the occasion to test my waterproof camera. It works.

Monster Garage

My wife left me with the boys for the day. This doesn't happen frequently, but we have still managed to establish a "day with dad" routine: Krispy Kreme for breakfast, some type of mid-morning project in the garage, whatever I can scrounge for lunch, afternoon playtime outside, big fat naps, a movie over pizza and root beer for dinner, and late to bed.

Today's garage project was taking apart the garage door opener to see why it mysteriously stopped working a few days ago. I found that the coupler between the motor shaft and the worm drive was stripped out. It looks to me like the part failed when the motor tried to lift something heavier than it was designed for. When confronted with the evidence, Eli quickly confessed (it was obvious to both of us that Aaron was going to squeal if he didn't). A quick call to Genie and the replacement part is on the way.

Afternoon playtime on our previous "day with dad" saw the advent of the front yard tree swing, which was a big hit. It was going to be a tough one to top. It was hot and the boys wanted to play on the Slip 'n Slide in the backyard. It was fine with me, but I've always felt the Slip 'n Slide was lacking that little extra something.

I had an idea, the materials, and nobody to stop me, so I built the Slip 'n Slide that I wished I had when I was a kid. Complete with a 20 degree grade and copious quantities of dish soap. Good times were had by all.

Kiss My Tatoosh

We saw Paul Allen's Tatoosh on the way out last Monday.



This boat is 300 feet long, has a crew of 30, at least one helicopter (I read something that said it had two, but I'm doubtful and I only saw one), six other surface boats including a 43' sailboat (see the mast?), a submarine, and a garage (I'm pretty sure I see a Porsche on the stern). And of course it also has a spa, pool, theater, and all the normal stuff. Sure, Paul's got money, but what I find most amazing is that he has three megayachts and this one isn't even the biggest. His biggest is 400-something feet and has a crew of 60. I don't think I could sleep at night.

It looks very out of place. Obviously no marina around here can accomodate a boat that size so she has no choice but to tie up at the commercial docks. She's nestled in with Coast Guard cutters, shrimp boats, and various "research" vessels festooned with all sorts or equipment and machinery. Not quite the extravagant location she was designed for. Really makes you wonder why she's here at all.

Aaron Is a Redneck

We realized a couple months ago that Aaron is a redneck.

All of my kids (and I assume all kids in general) go through phases where they have favorite items. Aaron’s have always been rather peculiar and it wasn’t until recently that the pieces came together for me.

His first obsession that I can remember was screws. As a wee tot he’d pick them up and hold them whenever I had some laying out for a project. One of his prized possessions was a carriage bolt I bought for him on a trip to Home Depot.

From screws, it was just a short hop to screwdrivers. He preferred Phillips and the smaller the better. There were two that he named “big” and “little” and once he got hold of them it was tough to get them back. Occasionally he would smuggle one into bed, and while Eli cuddled with Blimpie the stuffed elephant, Aaron would snuggle up with a screwdriver.

Soon the screwdrivers weren’t enough and his interest shifted to my cordless drill. Every time my wife would pull the van into the garage, little Aaron would greet the drills hanging on the pegboard.

After awhile he could handle one well enough that I would give him a 1x4, the cordless drill, and a handful of screws. That could keep him busy for an hour. Eventually I gave him a drill bit and he did a real number on that board. This was all to my wife’s chagrin as a few unauthorized household items also got drilled along the way.

There was a time we were working in the garage together. I was on the ladder with my head in the attic rewiring the door opener circuit. Aaron was down below working on his board. By this time I’d just give him everything he needed and let him go to it. He was able to work the chuck and change the bits as he liked. He was working away and I wasn’t paying any attention until I heard him scream. Looking down I could see that he had drilled through the board and the bit was embedded in his socked foot underneath. I got to him as fast as I could, reversed the drill out of his foot, and ripped the sock off. No blood. The scream was from the nice pink burn the hot bit had made right between his toes.

I recently refreshed my cordless tools with a nice DeWalt 18V set. Aaron was ecstatic and now has a new favorite tool – the reciprocating saw.

Aaron likes football. We took the whole family to a high school football game a while back and Aaron was riveted. We have a little football and he is obsessed with throwing the perfect spiral. He’s also got a good-looking swing with a baseball bat. Strangely, he bats left-handed.

His most recent obsession is trucks, the bigger the better. We have a children’s video about monster trucks (I highly recommend Dave movies) that he loves. We have a big Tonka dump truck from last Christmas that he has laid claim to and christened his monster truck. He flips up the truck bed and rides it around the house. I have no idea why we allow this.

Whenever we’re in the car he is on constant lookout for trucks and he calls out the ones he likes. His favorites are Jeep Wranglers, preferably with a soft top and “big scuffy tires”. Winches and big off-road lights are bonus and get special mention. Interestingly, the only SUVs he notices are Hummers, Jeep Cherokees, and Ford Broncos. He really likes big pickups, the biggest of which he bestows with the title “monster truck”. Fortunately for him, there are plenty of those in Florida. He prefers Dodge Rams to Fords and Toyotas (he has no interest in Chevy’s), but on the whole you see more big Fords than anything else. Today we saw an F-650. I didn’t know they made one of those either. I thought the kid might have a seizure.

Favorite sportscar? Corvette Stingray. I don’t think he has seen a “screaming chicken” Trans Am yet. I’ve pointed out a few Ferraris, but he is unimpressed.

He prefers motorboats to sailboats, and seems to have a particular attraction to bass boats. You know the kind: shallow hulls, big motor on the back, seat up on the bow. He usually sees them on trailers behind trucks he likes.

He looks funny with anything but a buzz cut.

Guns. Potter gave the boys a Nerf gun for the Christmas before last. It’s unquestionably Aaron’s gun. I had to buy him a bag of replacement bullets since Sarah ate all the originals.

Given his obvious redneck qualities, you’d think he’d wear Red Man tank tops, jean shorts, and tennis shoes with no socks. Quite to the contrary, the boy is a clothes horse. He emerges from his room every morning fully dressed and usually looking very sharp. He rarely dresses himself in anything but a button down. He will wear a pullover shirt, but only if it’s a dress down day and it goes with his ensemble. T-shirts are out of the question. Many fits have been thrown over not being able to find a shirt that matches or not having a clean pair of khakis.

All comments above about his taste in clothes aside, he loves camouflage.